So apparently I am now unrecognizable. People who vaguely knew me in high school know me personally now and have no idea that the first time we crossed paths I was a female. The human brain has a funny, yet convenient way of replacing key facts like that.
I have to admit, however, I’m not sure 2015 me would recognize 2016 me either. My appearance has changed so quickly. Sometimes if I look at my reflection long enough I almost expect the guy on the other side to move independently of me. The change is positive. I found that jaw bone I’ve been looking for, I can’t even tell how small my hands are because every part of my arm is more shapely.
Oh and those seemingly impervious-to-change hips? Yea they’re going away too. It’s incredibly exciting, and I would post pictures but again, I’m not about that self-porn life. Just take my word for it. I’m one top surgery away from using the glamourous, decoratively lit pool just steps away from my apartment.
Everything is just going well. I wonder if this is what life has been like for cisgender people. I like to think that I have a deeper appreciation of just being me. In the past, especially during girl-puberty, transgender brought “uncomfortable is my own skin” to a whole new level It was physically tangible demon of discomfort that was ever-present at best, and haunting at its worst. Now that my skin, at least outwardly, looks like me I’m comfortable. I’m calm. I don’t have to overstate my confidence to cover up a consistent state of insecurity. It’s peaceful.
I’ve always advocated for people do whatever they want to do. I don’t push my own agenda on anyone for the simple fact that I don’t care how others choose to live. But I will make an exception. If you are transgender; first of all, trust me, you know. You’re not questioning, you might just be in denial, but if you are trans, you know. Second, now that you know that you know, just transition. Just do it. It is the best, most responsible act of self development you could attempt. No other part of your life can be completely satisfied until you are you.
chrisbtrans 